Archive for the ‘all about me’ Category
This is a video suggesting magazines disclose when images of models are altered. I don’t hold out any hopes for that happening any time soon in the U.S.
But I have noticed something. I used to devour magazines – fashion magazines, beauty magazines, home and garden…. I loved having a big stack of shiny mags to while away an afternoon. I got away from partially because my time became more limited – I needed to spend my reading time on “serious” stuff… but also because magazines… basically are in the business of telling you how much you suck. You are not thin enough, pretty enough, your clothes aren’t fashionable enough, you’re not a good parent, etc. etc. etc.
So, I stopped with the magazines. (Full disclosure – I do buy magazines when I travel, and I do devote 1/2 hour (at least) every week to a trashy magazine. I’m not a saint, folks.) What I have noticed since I stopped reading magazines (especially fashion and beauty mags) is that I appreciate much much more the way real people look.
Real people. People who are no longer 20 years old. People who have some meat on their bones. People with bits that sag. People who don’t go to the hair salon (me). People who didn’t get braces when they were teenagers. People with big noses. People with scars. People grey hair, or no hair, or lots and lots of uncombed hair in fantastic colors. People with hairy ears. People with blue black skin.
People… real people… are beautiful, y’all.
The internet, she is not my friend this week. It is mostly because of this.
And truly I have been uber busy these days without much time to check out the latest for which I am grateful. It’s been trigger city, folks. Forgive any muddleheadedness that follows. I don’t know what kind of a post this will be or if I will bring these meanderings to a logical conclusion. There is grading to do (always the grading), there is writing and there is research, there is work.
Remember the artist Kiki? She did the art for a t shirt I once had and wore to absolute pieces. It was captioned “Many Strong and Beautiful Women.” It was lovely and I kept it for a long time.
This week my head is full of women… strong and beautiful and maybe not so strong but still beautiful even if they – we – do not know it. I am thinking about women and their/our stories. For the most part it is a happy convergence; I’m teaching women and stories this semester … yesterday in one of my classes we viewed the powerful “The Language You Cry In” – evidence of how blog reading is not procrastinating (at least not all the time) because I found out that film here and it fit in perfectly with what we are thinking/talking/writing about.
On Monday, Cara posted this so I was already thinking about the minimizing and trivializing that happens to those of us who have survived sexual assault in families – we even do it to ourselves.
I hadn’t yet heard the news about the whole Rihanna/Chris Brown thing yet… just some chatter on the radio about why they didn’t show up at the grammy’s or whatever. Then the noise about it increased during the day and I knew that I’d just need to try to stay away from it – I googled a bit at first just to see what people were saying about the situation and … always a mistake to read comments. How do we interrupt the kind of noise that blames a person for being violated because she “probably set him off” by saying something, or because she (and face it, it’s usually she) has the nerve to look a certain way or dress a certain way or what EVER… but usually all it takes is she possesses the identity of female. Be female and it is game on. Be black or brown and female, or transgress prescribed gender boundaries and the right to not be violated is at once absent. I don’t know how much more I want to say about that without doing more thinking than I want to do right now. I know that silence is not the answer. The problem then, is how not to keep being silenced because speaking out costs so much – when there are so many other voices – so much other noise – drowning out the stories that need to be told but are so hard to tell. That internalized, unvoiced pain comes out somehow, somewhere, I believe. Perhaps it is physical body pain, like the pain that is carried in my body on a daily basis, diagnosed as fibromyalgia. Perhaps it is realized in the pain that is in turn inflicted on others. Perhaps it is simply being numb to feeling and actually living life. But as has been said (y)our silence will not protect you/us.
Starting tonight and thru Saturday, I’m participating in a local Monologues production – inspired by Eve Ensler’s Vagina Monologues but anonymously submitted stories of women in this region – women who wrote down the sometimes comic, sometimes tragic, often utterly gut wrenching truths about their lives as women. It has been an incredible experience to carry these stories, to embody them and to speak these words into the air, and to talk with each other about our own stories. These kinds of gatherings are monumental acts of love. It is not only the gathering of stories and placing them in order, assigning the parts and becoming familiar with them and then putting on a show. It is also listening to the words underneath the words and feeling them. It is knowing “I’m not the only one this happened to.” It recognizing a place, a time, a moment, a person that are connected to geographies, histories, communities and honoring that. It is learning to speak. And very very practically – it’s about knitting scarves and making jewelry and collecting silent auction items and selling tickets and making as much money as you possibly can to help women and their children in this community whose backs are up against the wall.
It is this thing called survival.
Your Word is “Think”
You see life as an amazing mix of possibilities, ideas, and fascinations.
And sometimes you feel like you don’t have enough time to take it all in.
You love learning. Whether you’re in school or not, you’re probably immersed in several subjects right now.
So… I’ve been gone.
It was the end of the semester with massive grading out the wazoo, then I got sick, and on top of being sick had to deal with unsavory commenters which was making me rethink this whole blogging and so I was writing posts in my head and reading the amazing stuff so many of you are writing and now… it’s time to hang out and do the holiday thing.
Have a happy holly merry jolly whatever you celebrate – I’ll be back soon.
Music Meme – lifted from here.
- Put your IPod or MP3 player on shuffle.
- For each question, press the next button to get your answer
- YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
- Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the game as well as the person you got the note from.
Not tagging because I’m disobedient like that…. but play along if you like (and let me know).
IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Superwoman (Alicia Keyes)
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Pullin’ Back the Reins (k.d. lang)
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Choux Pastry Heart (Corrine Bailey Rae)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
I Need You (Alicia Keyes)
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Three Days (k.d. lang)
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Trail of Broken Hearts (k.d. lang)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Work in Progress (Growing Pains) (Mary J. Blige)
WHAT IS 2+2?
Mr. Radio (Chrisette Michele)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
A Little More You (Little Big House)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Mama Knew Love (Anthony Hamilton)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Float (Anthony Hamilton)
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Be and Be Not Afraid (Tracy Chapman)
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Stay the Night (Mariah Carey)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Change (Tracy Chapman)
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
The Air That I Breathe (k.d. lang)
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Blood and Fire (Indigo Girls)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Promise Me (Luther Vandross)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Golden (Chrisette Michele)
WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Luck in My Eyes (k.d. lang)
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
My Old Addition (k.d. lang)
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Here and Now (Luther Vandross)
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
So Amazing (Luther Vandross)
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
It’s Like That (Mariah Carey)
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Better Love (Luther Vandross)
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
I’m Fine (Patty Larkin)
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
The Joker (k.d. lang)
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Cornbread, Fish and Collard Greens (Anthony Hamilton)
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Good Girl (Chrisette Michele)
You are The Hierophant
Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.
All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.
The Hierophant’s purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant’s only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz…
You Are a Bette!
You are a Bette — “I must be strong”
Bettes are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.
How to Get Along with Me
- * Stand up for yourself… and me.
- * Be confident, strong, and direct.
- * Don’t gossip about me or betray my trust.
- * Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
- * Give me space to be alone.
- * Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don’t flatter me.
- * I often speak in an assertive way. Don’t automatically assume it’s a personal attack.
- * When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that’s just the way I am.
What I Like About Being a Bette
- * being independent and self-reliant
- * being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
- * being courageous, straightforward, and honest
- * getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
- * supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
- * upholding just causes
What’s Hard About Being a Bette
- * overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don’t intend to
- * being restless and impatient with others’ incompetence
- * sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
- * never forgetting injuries or injustices
- * putting too much pressure on myself
- * getting high blood pressure when people don’t obey the rules or when things don’t go right
Bettes as Children Often
- * are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
- * are sometimes loners
- * seize control so they won’t be controlled
- * figure out others’ weaknesses
- * attack verbally or physically when provoked
- * take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings
Bettes as Parents
- * are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
- * are sometimes overprotective
- * can be demanding, controlling, and rigid
* random bullets of crap
You know how, back in the winter months, your calendar for 3 seasons ahead looks all empty and pristine and everything seems possible? Even though school will be starting and you know what that is like – what with the getting the syllabi together and meeting new students and getting classes going and re-reading or at least skimming the texts and getting new readings and finding out what’s wrong with your classroom and – oh – teaching a new class with new texts and…. So you know that is going on. But you look at the calendar with all those lovely blank spaces (because you don’t write down all that school stuff – okay maybe you do but I don’t…) and you say – hey – I can go to that 4 day meeting and I can facilitate this event over here and I can present at this thing and oh, sure, I can do that. And then, in the middle of August, you look at your calendar and scream.
But today I am home and thus ends the madness that was August 28 – September 27.
Herewith – RBOC about being on the road.
- I have written it on the syllabus, and announced to students every week in every class that I would be gone from this date to this date, so if you need to meet with me do it before this date. Because I will be gone. As in not on campus. As in not able to meet with you. So why the string of emails last week from people needing to meet with me – during the week I was not on campus? (Although I had a lot of travel over those 4 weeks, I missed only 2 days of classes – lesson plans were still in place and assignments still due while I was gone.)
- All that writing I was going to do while on the road? Not so much.
- All that grading I was going to do? See above.
- The staff at the Enterprise car rental place in Philadelphia is tops. They were friendly, efficient and knowledgeable. They made me happy.
- The Cleveland airport is sorely lacking in electrical outlets, at least in the D concourse.
- Everybody everywhere needs to give me free wifi.
- I don’t mind if people walk slowly or stop and gab with their friends in the airport. But, uh, could you folks move to the side so those of us that have a flight to catch can get by? Just saying.
- People, the earbuds mean don’t talk to me. Seriously. And when I answer your question by saying simply “yes” or “no,” or acknowledge your comment with a quick smile and then look back down at my book, with my earbuds in, by the way… this is a social cue that means “not interested in talking now.” No, for real. That’s what it means. (okay, I really think I’m a nice person… I just don’t talk to people so much in airports. Okay, other places too. But really! I’m a nice person!)
- The cats welcome me home:
Little nervous cat: Mama! Mama, you’re home! Let me wind myself around you one hundred – no! two hundred times. Let me lick your arm. Again. And again. I love you, Mama. Why did you go? Oh! You know that game we play where I race to the middle of the room and flop on my back and look so cute and precious that you have to scratch my belly? Let’s do that! Again! And again! Oh, Mama, don’t ever leave me again. No one scratched my belly while you were gone, Mama. Well, it’s true I spent most of the week hiding under the bed… but if they really wanted to scratch my belly, they knew where it was. Ok, Mama, please scratch. Now.
Big laid back cat: Heeyy! What’s happening? Dude, you were gone? For a week? Daaannng. Well, welcome home, dude – how’s about some kibble while you’re up?
And now later tomorrow – grading.